I've given up numbering my posts, sorry. I just can't anymore, and I will go break down in shame.
Also, let it be noted that if this post sounds like I've written it when drunk, then that is because I am extraordinarily tired. So tired and crazy and drunk on exhaustion that I will write about a knight (rhymes!).
So there exists a knight in this universe parallel to ours, let's call it Universe X (or Univer Sex). So in Univer Sex, even though they live in the sixteenth century of their time, their sixteenth century is kind of high tech, in the sense that they didn't have pointless jousts, and fat kings called Henry VIII, who had six wives - no. They had scientists. Their sixteenth century was like our nineteenth century, or our twentieth century, where everything was about facts and people started questioning the existence of this all powerful being that supposedly controls everything.
So the knight was an astronomer, and also a bit of a chemist, and also knew some physics, and he liked dogs (biology). Also sex (more biology). He was this tall dude, and he had kind of long hair, like Hiro Sakurai's hair in Winter. He had a cute little goatee (all cute heroes have goatees and those maturation period beards, if you know what I'm saying) (no, that's not an innuendo or anything), a large-ish-but-straight nose, and a smile that would melt the Wicked Witch of the West. Also, because of extensive star gazing, his eyes started to shine. He wore armour, but under his clothes. He had three million sets of the same clothing - a red jumper that said 'Commies 4 life', dark blue jeans, and a lab coat. He had differently coloured underwear, though, some even had puppy prints on them.
So, this knight (whom we will very conveniently name Knight), was noting down the co-ordinates of this new star he had found, when, through his peripheral vision he espied a maiden climbing over the wall of his garden. When he turned to see who she was, and more importantly, what the hell (oh wait, doesn't exist - what the fuck, he meant) she was doing, he saw that she had short hair, but long bangs and she too wore a lab coat; She was also trampling his begonias (biology!) and snarling right back at his dog (who was snarling at her).
'Grr' went the dog.
'Grr' went she.
'Grr'.
'Grr.'
While he watched them, he thought how nice it would be if someone would drop them a beat. So he yelled, "Would you like me to drop you a beat?"
She jumped in surprise before looking around wildly for the body of the voice that had frightened her so. When she found it, she laughed a little laugh (kind of like, 'HAHa!') and said, "Yo, Sir Knight, that would actually be great, but I have unfinished business with you!"
Knight was very curious by nature. He normally would follow his mum's advice and not let strangers enter the house, especially those that growled at his dog. Alas, but he was dying to know who she was, and what this business was. He walked down the long spiral staircase of stone to the ground floor of his dark, yet elegant tower and opened the door. She walked in, throwing one last 'grr' at the dog. The door was shut, and they looked at each other.
"I've heard, because you're quite famous and all, that you've got these shiny eyes because of all the star-gazing you do, because well, it's your profession and all that. I have come to look at them, because I feel they have very much to do with the way your mind works, and as a psychologist I must explore this phenomenon. Not every astronomer has ridiculously shiny eyes like you, Knight."
Knight shrugged, a little pleased with himself for having such ridiculously shiny eyes, but also a little worried that he might be a lunatic, and said, "You may look deep into my shimmering eyes."
So Belinda (that was her name) did, and when she did, Knight got a chance to look into her eyes. They were round and beautiful and brown and had a soft gleam... Like that of his crush in university -
"Belinda Felicity..." He whispered. She stopped studying his eyes, and stood stock still for a moment.
"BAM!" She yelled, causing Knight to leap two feet into the air, backwards. "One sec, one sec, one sec," She said frantically, smiling widely. She pulled a violet communicator device and dialed a code.
"I told you he'd remember!" She yelped into the gadget, before closing it with a loud snap and launching herself onto Knight.
For purely scientific reasons (biology, if you know what I mean) (that was an innuendo).
Also, let it be noted that if this post sounds like I've written it when drunk, then that is because I am extraordinarily tired. So tired and crazy and drunk on exhaustion that I will write about a knight (rhymes!).
So there exists a knight in this universe parallel to ours, let's call it Universe X (or Univer Sex). So in Univer Sex, even though they live in the sixteenth century of their time, their sixteenth century is kind of high tech, in the sense that they didn't have pointless jousts, and fat kings called Henry VIII, who had six wives - no. They had scientists. Their sixteenth century was like our nineteenth century, or our twentieth century, where everything was about facts and people started questioning the existence of this all powerful being that supposedly controls everything.
So the knight was an astronomer, and also a bit of a chemist, and also knew some physics, and he liked dogs (biology). Also sex (more biology). He was this tall dude, and he had kind of long hair, like Hiro Sakurai's hair in Winter. He had a cute little goatee (all cute heroes have goatees and those maturation period beards, if you know what I'm saying) (no, that's not an innuendo or anything), a large-ish-but-straight nose, and a smile that would melt the Wicked Witch of the West. Also, because of extensive star gazing, his eyes started to shine. He wore armour, but under his clothes. He had three million sets of the same clothing - a red jumper that said 'Commies 4 life', dark blue jeans, and a lab coat. He had differently coloured underwear, though, some even had puppy prints on them.
So, this knight (whom we will very conveniently name Knight), was noting down the co-ordinates of this new star he had found, when, through his peripheral vision he espied a maiden climbing over the wall of his garden. When he turned to see who she was, and more importantly, what the hell (oh wait, doesn't exist - what the fuck, he meant) she was doing, he saw that she had short hair, but long bangs and she too wore a lab coat; She was also trampling his begonias (biology!) and snarling right back at his dog (who was snarling at her).
'Grr' went the dog.
'Grr' went she.
'Grr'.
'Grr.'
While he watched them, he thought how nice it would be if someone would drop them a beat. So he yelled, "Would you like me to drop you a beat?"
She jumped in surprise before looking around wildly for the body of the voice that had frightened her so. When she found it, she laughed a little laugh (kind of like, 'HAHa!') and said, "Yo, Sir Knight, that would actually be great, but I have unfinished business with you!"
Knight was very curious by nature. He normally would follow his mum's advice and not let strangers enter the house, especially those that growled at his dog. Alas, but he was dying to know who she was, and what this business was. He walked down the long spiral staircase of stone to the ground floor of his dark, yet elegant tower and opened the door. She walked in, throwing one last 'grr' at the dog. The door was shut, and they looked at each other.
"I've heard, because you're quite famous and all, that you've got these shiny eyes because of all the star-gazing you do, because well, it's your profession and all that. I have come to look at them, because I feel they have very much to do with the way your mind works, and as a psychologist I must explore this phenomenon. Not every astronomer has ridiculously shiny eyes like you, Knight."
Knight shrugged, a little pleased with himself for having such ridiculously shiny eyes, but also a little worried that he might be a lunatic, and said, "You may look deep into my shimmering eyes."
So Belinda (that was her name) did, and when she did, Knight got a chance to look into her eyes. They were round and beautiful and brown and had a soft gleam... Like that of his crush in university -
"Belinda Felicity..." He whispered. She stopped studying his eyes, and stood stock still for a moment.
"BAM!" She yelled, causing Knight to leap two feet into the air, backwards. "One sec, one sec, one sec," She said frantically, smiling widely. She pulled a violet communicator device and dialed a code.
"I told you he'd remember!" She yelped into the gadget, before closing it with a loud snap and launching herself onto Knight.
For purely scientific reasons (biology, if you know what I mean) (that was an innuendo).
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