You know that feeling you get when you look at stars even just from your terrace - those lightly twinkling things, less visible because the cold lights of the city dull their warm glow, but you find them just as beautiful as ever and a warm shiver spreads through your body when you see a familiar constellation - a friend in the night sky - like Orion.
Ah, I just have to think about them and I am already so captivated by them - I drown in them as if they were the eyes of a lover (I am also clearly drowning in all the poetry I have been studying).
But that's not what I want to talk about. The feeling I originally meant was the one where you realise how large the world actually is, and at the same time, you realise how small it is too.
You realise that there are other people, other creatures (possibly aliens!); each living their lives in this vast, vast, universe. They are all the protagonist of their own story, and you wonder how it is to be them - to be another human being, to be a dog, to see yourself from the eyes of another. You wonder and wonder and wonder till you think your head will explode from all the wondering. What are other people thinking? When are they telling the truth? Do they think you're a fool?
We can only afford to spare a few minutes every now and then in our long lifetimes for such thoughts; for if we gave them all our energy, we'd be cripples. Suspicious, and half dead with longing - wanting to know and not being able to. It is an exhausting and exhilarating feeling (accentuated by the right music, if you have it).
So, we're forced to throw ourselves into work and the silly superficial problem of getting by in life.
I'll tell you though, it always tickles me to wonder what Natalie Portman is doing at the moment; to think, while I am showering, that my friends are human and they shower too! All the ridiculous things I do with my body, so many billion other human beings have done - the boob squeezing, the seductive wink in the mirror, the disgusted and fascinated staring at pubic hair!
I love it. I love these feelings and these thoughts. They get a little heavy, sometimes, but that's life; and I love being alive.
Ah, I just have to think about them and I am already so captivated by them - I drown in them as if they were the eyes of a lover (I am also clearly drowning in all the poetry I have been studying).
But that's not what I want to talk about. The feeling I originally meant was the one where you realise how large the world actually is, and at the same time, you realise how small it is too.
You realise that there are other people, other creatures (possibly aliens!); each living their lives in this vast, vast, universe. They are all the protagonist of their own story, and you wonder how it is to be them - to be another human being, to be a dog, to see yourself from the eyes of another. You wonder and wonder and wonder till you think your head will explode from all the wondering. What are other people thinking? When are they telling the truth? Do they think you're a fool?
We can only afford to spare a few minutes every now and then in our long lifetimes for such thoughts; for if we gave them all our energy, we'd be cripples. Suspicious, and half dead with longing - wanting to know and not being able to. It is an exhausting and exhilarating feeling (accentuated by the right music, if you have it).
So, we're forced to throw ourselves into work and the silly superficial problem of getting by in life.
I'll tell you though, it always tickles me to wonder what Natalie Portman is doing at the moment; to think, while I am showering, that my friends are human and they shower too! All the ridiculous things I do with my body, so many billion other human beings have done - the boob squeezing, the seductive wink in the mirror, the disgusted and fascinated staring at pubic hair!
I love it. I love these feelings and these thoughts. They get a little heavy, sometimes, but that's life; and I love being alive.
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