Libraries and Mayhapses

Do you know what I miss? Libraries. Stella had the most wonderful library and for the entirety of my final year there, I didn’t visit it. I don’t blame myself—there was far too much reading to do, and I found all the specific material I needed online (by doing thiruttuthanam, obviously). Every time I go to a library I get carried away; I want to borrow everything I can get my hands on, but I couldn’t do that in Stella—I couldn’t just pick up whatever I wanted and have the time to read it because, like I said, I had too much to do otherwise. But now! Done with college! Done with mandatory readings! I can go to a library and pick out whatever I want AND have the time to read it! I can judge books by their covers and their blurbs (if the blurb hasn’t been replaced by some snippet of a review that I couldn’t possibly give a single shit about) and their size and their smell.


Of course, by can I mean I could if there wasn't a global pandemic to worry about.

I cannot wait for the heady feeling of being able to stand in a room filled with the books, knowing that I can take whatever I want and read it without worrying about how it’s not on syllabus (I don’t have a syllabus anymore!) and how I should be reading A Tale of Love and Darkness instead.

How long before I miss the structure of a syllabus? We shall see, we shall see. Mayhaps I am not the person I was five years ago (heavens above, five years ago), mayhaps now I can manage myself, mayhaps things are looking up for me.


Mayhaps, mayhaps, mayhaps.