After a very, very long time, it's that time of year again. The time of year that my ridiculously large brain squeezes out the dark truth I have learnt about relationships. The time of year that I would normally bother the Pinafore about how I yearn to have a significant other; how I must, must, must find a suitable victim; how terribly awful it is that no mildly cute boys - or girls, for that matter - seem to have a crush on my adorable self. I cry on her comforting shoulder (not really comforting, but a shoulder is a shoulder), while she rolls her eyes and continues to read whatever book she happens to have in her bag.
Alas, this year, I have no shoulder, but my brain has not failed to dangle a little ball of relationship string in front of my poor little feline heart that cannot help but take the bait. Why is that I am a sucker and such a fool for this ridiculous affair that does nothing but bring out my god-awful insecurities?
I couldn't tell you, because I have not a clue. I only know this organ of mine needs some serious retuning. The fact that ice cream is a girl's best friend needs to be reinforced. I need to stay up late and dance to the brilliant music they play on gayfm.de. I need to storm into my (ex?) school, grab the Pinafore and ask her to slap some sense into me (and maybe throw in a few passionate kisses for luck?). I need to adopt a thousand cats and start that life as a Crazy Cat Lady that I have been doomed to.
I'll scrap that last one (maybe) and get a move on with that others - channel all my sexual energy into work! Conquer the world! Veni, vidi, vici and all that!
Or um, you know, I'll just have a mo with myself - after hours.
Either works.
Alas, this year, I have no shoulder, but my brain has not failed to dangle a little ball of relationship string in front of my poor little feline heart that cannot help but take the bait. Why is that I am a sucker and such a fool for this ridiculous affair that does nothing but bring out my god-awful insecurities?
I couldn't tell you, because I have not a clue. I only know this organ of mine needs some serious retuning. The fact that ice cream is a girl's best friend needs to be reinforced. I need to stay up late and dance to the brilliant music they play on gayfm.de. I need to storm into my (ex?) school, grab the Pinafore and ask her to slap some sense into me (and maybe throw in a few passionate kisses for luck?). I need to adopt a thousand cats and start that life as a Crazy Cat Lady that I have been doomed to.
I'll scrap that last one (maybe) and get a move on with that others - channel all my sexual energy into work! Conquer the world! Veni, vidi, vici and all that!
Or um, you know, I'll just have a mo with myself - after hours.
Either works.
No comments:
Post a Comment