I'll be honest with you - this is not going well for me.
It started out really easy - I thought I'd just apply to ol' Stella Maris, get in, do literature, no problem. Of course, then the pinafore got it into my head that maybe I should reconsider doing design, a course that I vehemently decided against taking up because, well... because.
Like the fool that I am, I did reconsider it, and it didn't seem like such a bad idea. So now I'm stuck, panicking about my inadequacies and staring at the sample questions like a complete moron. I am entirely out of my depth here. There is no way I am going to get into IIT! NID, I have the slightest, smallest chance, because they're more interested in the creative bit. But even then, when I look at those questions, I can't think straight. I'm working to please, instead of doing things the way I like to do them. I'm also trying so hard to think differently, that I take a full U-turn and think like a sheep going "baa" in a herd of sheep going 'baa'; because if I say "baah", while I am being different and witty (in my own warped way), I don't think anybody's going to appreciate it - they're just going to think I'm a sheep who doesn't know how to spell. I should, however, stop trying so hard to be a sheep who goes "boi-oi-oing".
ANYWAY, I've got my other subjects to study, and this load is nothing compared to the things my friends are doing in an actual school! But I feel so lost, and I need help and I don't know where to go for it. I kind of remember why I decided not to do design in the first place - my self esteem is a very, very fragile thing and I don't need to be constantly reminded that I might not be good enough for these goddamn educational institutions. I'm better off learning about art on my own - better off like that nice artist I met at Bangalore comic con this weekend - he dropped out of college, but he sure as hell seems to be doing fine; Because the most important thing is networking, and I know I can handle that.
Then there's all the other things, do I want to leave home yet, do I not? What about my cat? What about the crackalackin' college experience that I want? What about da monies?
Safe to say, I'm losing my mind.
Oh well, back to the drawing board for me (literally).
It started out really easy - I thought I'd just apply to ol' Stella Maris, get in, do literature, no problem. Of course, then the pinafore got it into my head that maybe I should reconsider doing design, a course that I vehemently decided against taking up because, well... because.
Like the fool that I am, I did reconsider it, and it didn't seem like such a bad idea. So now I'm stuck, panicking about my inadequacies and staring at the sample questions like a complete moron. I am entirely out of my depth here. There is no way I am going to get into IIT! NID, I have the slightest, smallest chance, because they're more interested in the creative bit. But even then, when I look at those questions, I can't think straight. I'm working to please, instead of doing things the way I like to do them. I'm also trying so hard to think differently, that I take a full U-turn and think like a sheep going "baa" in a herd of sheep going 'baa'; because if I say "baah", while I am being different and witty (in my own warped way), I don't think anybody's going to appreciate it - they're just going to think I'm a sheep who doesn't know how to spell. I should, however, stop trying so hard to be a sheep who goes "boi-oi-oing".
ANYWAY, I've got my other subjects to study, and this load is nothing compared to the things my friends are doing in an actual school! But I feel so lost, and I need help and I don't know where to go for it. I kind of remember why I decided not to do design in the first place - my self esteem is a very, very fragile thing and I don't need to be constantly reminded that I might not be good enough for these goddamn educational institutions. I'm better off learning about art on my own - better off like that nice artist I met at Bangalore comic con this weekend - he dropped out of college, but he sure as hell seems to be doing fine; Because the most important thing is networking, and I know I can handle that.
Then there's all the other things, do I want to leave home yet, do I not? What about my cat? What about the crackalackin' college experience that I want? What about da monies?
Safe to say, I'm losing my mind.
Oh well, back to the drawing board for me (literally).
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